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By Philippa Steinberg

It is easy to love the people you have always known, whose smiles you can see, and whose values you share. Showing someone you love them usually relies on verbal or physical cues. We sympathize with others when we exchange soft-hearted words in a common language. We empathize with family as we mirror their pain in their facial expressions. We comfort friends through compassionate touch to let them know we support them.

But I have never met some of my closest friends, some live as far as 4500 miles away. Over the last five years, I have made internet friends by sharing my art on Instagram. Some people see the internet as a space that reduces sympathy, empathy, and compassion into material ‘likes’. They say you can pretend to be someone you are not, selectively share about yourself as the other person will never get to experience your real life. But I see the internet as the chance to make genuine connections with people you would have otherwise never met.

Graphic by Sydney Hilbush

My first conversation with another young artist was a response to one of my drawings. We bonded over the simple fact that we were both left-handed. I began to continuously encourage her through comments on her work and to validate her aspirations. Privately, we began to open up about who we were. Usually, me first, because I knew my vulnerability helped her feel comfortable in opening up to me. Cautiously, she confided in me with personal struggles. I would attentively listen and try my best to be there for her. At this point, I still did not know what she looked like. However, the anonymity did not feel like a deceitful front to me. It was a means to circumvent preconceptions and allowed me to focus on who she was emotionally.

When I moved across the ocean for college, I left behind my home. But my virtual friendship, already dislocated in time and space, continued to grow. Over time, the distinction between online and real-life friendship blurred. Every time I called her, her little brother rushes to the phone to say. I was humbled by her mother thanking me for making her daughter happy with the art I sent in the mail.

I wished her happy Eid, she wished me happy Hanukkah, I wished her happy Mental Health Awareness Day, she wished me a happy Coming Out Day. Five years go by and we are still friends.

In the digital age, your neighbor could live thousands of miles away. Loving someone like you would love yourself means a judgment-free, attentive, and respectful love. I was able to form a genuine friendship with someone I used to only know by a username. It taught me to eradicate prejudices, how to find ways to speak with others when our backgrounds or languages differ, to sense when someone is sad without seeing their demeanor, to show someone I care for them without being able to give them a hug.